Now today t'was a day like any other adventure-y day, spirits were uncrushably high, everyone was singing and dancing and having a jolly time! When suddenly the ocean was all like " Surprise!" and a huge, massive storm brewed out of nowhere!Īnd the wind, BOO-* wusohsoshshushush.* Who knew? But it didn't matter.So long as they were together, there were smiles to be had and adventures to be shared. Perhaps they'd find an island made entirely of candy! Perhaps they'd meet a band of scary, swashbuckling pirates, and join forces to find an island made entirely of candy! What fantastic wonders will they discover this time? Perhaps they'd come across a scary ghost ship. Now one fine morning, Hatty and pals set out for a new, exciting adventure. Hatty was like King Friend of Friendship Kingdom, best friend to one and all, and the walking definition of " handsome gentleman"! It was a ship! A ship full of friends, hundreds of friends, best friends one and all! A veritable friend-ship it was… Get it? But it wouldn't be very ladylike of me not to mention the most noteworthy friend on board, Hatty Hattington. Once upon a time there was a boat, now this wasn't just any boat children. A story as heart warming and soft as a mother's kiss, or is it? Turn the lights down low and shut your faces, as I wrap you in the cozy blanket of a story. Aw man, that was way better! Door opens GOD! Door slams shut I should've said.let's see, let's just say the Behemoth is about to release some Steam. I hope you're down, cause things are about to get awfully Steamy in here. SOUND EFFECTS WHEN CHARACTERS DO STUFF! THE FUTURE IS NOW! VIDEO CARD MEGA GRAPHIC THROTTLING! WITH RAM PROCESSORS! OCULUSES! * Game does not support the Oculus Rift ( PENDING!) So buckle said pants and get ready to ro- OCULUS RIFT SUPPORT, FOR UP TO FIVE SIMULTANEOUS. Oh, and there's a lot of stuff to collect and brag about, too! And your PANTS WILL COLLECT HUMAN FECES WHEN YOU LOOK AT THIS MIND-BLOWINGLY REALISTIC HAIR SIMULATION! LOOK AT IT! If you can handle frame rates up to 21,000.per millisecond, that is! * The game doesn't run at this speed.not that your eyes could precise it if it did.Īnd look! A multitude of game types are sure to keep things interesting! Especially with our STATE OF THE ART RAGDOLL PHYSICS! AND PARTICAL EXPLOSION.FUTURE SYSTEMS!īuild your own levels to dazzle and annoy your friends, by using our ADVANCED MANIPULATION ENGINE, ALLOWING YOU TO CONTROL WHAT YOU SEE ON SCREEN! THE POWER IS IN YOUR HANDS! Then hop online and makes lots of friends, enemies, and frenemies! In stunning 10000000p graphics! * Not a real resolution.yet With high resolution super-texture technology that modern human eyeballs can't even see! Grab a friend and hammer through the most heartwarming/horrible story you'll ever experience! That's right, get ready to experience the game that won every award for everything ever * Not a real award like you've never seen it before! Drop your Ambien and play this game instead if sleep is something you need.Hey, you! Still enjoying Battleblock Theater on XBox and enjoying every moment of it, rightfully so? Good! Shut up, because I have two words that will change your life forever! the characters have no soul and the story is incredibly uninteresting. Behemoth is better than this, this is a huge letdown. I remember back when this game was in development way back in the day. I made these thoughts in a Steam forum and I had a few people get mad at me, and even someone from the company addressed my concerns. The "platformer" feels wonky and it's just boring. It's like a crap follow up to an epic album. Castle Crashers was a deeply rich and amazingly fun game, this game is not. I love 2D platformers, and for people to give this a 10, it's just a bad move. This game doesn't even deserves to drink the meat drippings left behind. This game doesn't even deserves to drink the meat Wow! I'm actually angered that people are comparing this to the likes of Super Meat Boy. Wow! I'm actually angered that people are comparing this to the likes of Super Meat Boy.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |